Love and Power
Think of your most intimate relationship. Would you say you love each other the same amount? Does one love the other more? How does this affect the way you relate? We seldom contemplate these issues consciously, yet behind the scenes, they have a powerful impact on the way we interact with each other. Love and power - a combination which should have the warning label: “Handle with care.”
Consider this comment made by a husband: “I think I love my wife more than she loves me and this seems to give her all the power in the relationship. If love is the strongest force in the world, why do those who love more have less power?” On the surface this certainly seems to be a paradox, doesn’t it? If love is the strongest force in the world why do those who love more have less power?
I 'll begin with two quick comments about issues that jump out at me on the basis of this question. The first is we need to be careful about using love to get something, especially power. If power is your ultimate goal you need to be careful about using love, however you define it, as a means of adjusting the balance of power in a relationship.
The other thing to keep in mind is time. At any given moment, it may appear that our love is squandered on those who don’t appreciate the sacrifices we make. But if we continue to be faithful in loving, it does make a difference. If we approach our relationships wielding force, we can make things happen quickly, but if we take the path of love, attempting to draw people to the right conclusion rather than simply imposing a rule on them, we can expect the process to take longer.
The most profound love is, by nature, sacrificial. We invest physical and emotional resources in those we love. We limit ourselves. We lay down our lives. Jesus, who is often held up as the supreme example of love, said: “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” The ultimate example of love is for one to die for another. That is what Jesus did for us and that is what we will do for those that we love most.
When you make an offer, the other person has the power to accept or reject your offer. When you offer to love someone, you are putting that person in the place of control. He or she gets to take it or leave it. This is true not only in our marriage relationships, our family relationships, our social relationships, but it is even true in terms of the relationship between God and humanity.
Strangely enough, even though God is all powerful and can do whatever He wants and could impose His will on us at any level He wanted to, He chose to let us decide whether to accept or reject His love. We usually don’t think about the concept of the humility of God, but this is what that is all about. God gives us the place of power in the relationship. He loves us, He humbles Himself and allows us to respond positively or negatively to His love.
Philippians 2 records the humility of the Lord Jesus Christ as He lets go of His place of glory with God the Father and descends through various steps humbling Himself over and over again, ultimately to the place where He dies. That is certainly the place of weakness. (It is important to notice the passage goes on to say that God exalted Him as a result of that. God is not about to surrender His power indefinitely to human beings, but regarding this matter of accepting or rejecting His love, He does give us the option of choosing.) When we respond positively there is a whole set of benefits and blessings that follow. When we reject His offer, there is a whole set of negative ramifications set in motion.
This is how I’ve come to understand that though love is the strongest force in the world, those who love more have less power. It is because of the nature of real love. Love is always prepared to submit, prepared to yield, prepared to sacrifice itself for the sake of the other. In the short term it may not feel very good, but in the long term will be satisfying because we’ll know that regardless of how it felt, it was right.
It would be easy to give up on loving when it seems to get us nowhere, but God has given us the example of exhaustless love. He loves us without measure and invites us to be conduits as well as recipients of that love.
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Reply #1 on : Fri August 19, 2011, 13:41:28